Raphaela Cocotos

The Worst Has Passed but My Body is Left Scarred

This work exists as a documentation of personal experiences of the body. My body has been a site of trauma, and my body will become a site of healing. Healing is non-linear and is a constant process. Self-harm is a complex and nuanced aspect of coping with trauma, and is an attachment that threatens the healing process. Although my process of healing has started, my scars are a constant reminder of what was, of how I treated my body, and how my mental illness was able to manifest physically. 

I have habitually photographed my scars, and compiled writing about their healing. The text and photograph are extracts from these archives and are therefore an important aspect of the documentation of my healing process. 

Although it is not necessarily a desire, self-harm is a cruel attachment which relies on repeated negative emotions to sustain itself. Repetition is utilized within this work as, in my experience, self-harm is inclusive of the same object which inflicts the same type of wound. My legs over the years have sustained scars which often overlap. Phrases from my entries have stuck with me and so they have been repeated and overlaid. The text is translucent, but still apparent as to mimic the appearance of scars on skin. 

Ultimately, although I am optimistic about my healing process, I am still confronted by the harm I have caused myself.