Nina Jacobson

Trigger Warning

This work is a mobile of razor blades. It exists as a soft exploration into the personal history of self harm. It is a tactile, living object; yet it is threatening. The razors are still sharp and can cause harm. They are suspended in balance in a system of counter weight that became prevalent in the process of making itself - the weighing up of the material was crucial in the way this object came into being. I have included several photos of the work in different locations as well as videos to show the way the work sits in a given space. I did not want to photograph this work in my bedroom because of the energy it carries (one of sad memory, imbued with habits past). This work was difficult for me to make as it impacts on my recovery from self harm and it is ultimately ill advised (within my support group) for me to handle this many razors at once. I wanted to make this work to illustrate the fraught relationship those who struggle with self harm have with objects of harm - there is a constant battle of push and pull, a weighing up of the odds, a justification without a grounding in logic. It is a flawed mindset, that of wanting to hurt oneself for relief from external hurt: the idea that one is able to control hurt is a paradox that contributes to the full impact onto the physical self. Making this work required a space of detachment whereby I could not allow myself to become tempted by the objects that once were so enticing to me, that once offered some form of comfort. It is a cruel optimism to escape.